I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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