alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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