just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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