people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think i have two assholes
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
