Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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