From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
