she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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