You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
