she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
