I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
