Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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