You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
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I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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