There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
