I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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