dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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