High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize