...so i touched it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
