is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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