who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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