remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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