My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
