Plan B is the new Plan A
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
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Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
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I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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