you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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