is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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