Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
