I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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