I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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