That's intense
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
