I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
