Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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