I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it wasn't lemon gatorade
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
