school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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