I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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