Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Randomize
