I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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