I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
