: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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