I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Text me some of your sweat
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