I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i was born a porn star she said
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
