I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
