You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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