so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
