i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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