I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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