Sponge bath it is.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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