I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
