I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
