I wish i was in the wii world.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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