I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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