I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
