I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
