This is not my ceiling
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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