What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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