New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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