She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize