I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
