so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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