how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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