is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
