Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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